Be Yourself! – Don’t Worry About What Others Think and Be Happy

Be yourself, talk about the things you want to talk about, and do what you want to do. Doing that and then letting others decide for themselves if they’re going to partake significantly improves your quality of life. Just as important, you will attract the right people to your life.  Today, I want to give you three thoughts to become comfortable with not caring about what others think of you.

But before, answer this question: How much do you care about what others think of you? 

I think we all fall for this trap. We become so preoccupied with how others perceive us that we become someone we are not, to impress them. The problem with this approach is that it takes so much effort. As written on the cover of one of my favorite books, The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k, by Sara Knight, it takes “spending time you don’t have doing things you don’t want to do with people you don’t like.”

That’s not to say you have to become a jerk. You can be assertive and maintain your sense of empathy and consideration for other people’s feelings or opinions. It means being transparent, honest, and relentless about the things you stand for without letting other people’s views deter you while respecting and considering their opinions. Know the difference between being assertive and being an a**hole.

To be yourself, you have to be comfortable with what is considered uncomfortable.

One key element to a happy life is accepting and being 100% comfortable knowing you will not make everyone around you happy. And you are not obliged to do so. 

It is ok to try to convince someone with your ideas, product, beliefs. On the other hand, it is pointless to debate with someone who has no intention of ever changing their minds. Once you figure out you are in a debate with the latter, the healthy thing to do is move on.  

Ultimately, you are not here to convince everyone. You are here to convince the people who match most closely to what you provide. It’s not about the number of people that do not get it. It’s about the people that do. You will notice that you’ll be much more successful nurturing the relationship with those you align with than fighting those who don’t. 

The journey is not comfortable. Some people, even some close to you, will not understand. Some might judge you, and they will feel uncomfortable once you prioritize your wellbeing over theirs. The good news is that when you are not afraid to make others uncomfortable, everyone you don’t want around runs away. Also, you attract the people you’d like to be around. 

Three thoughts that will liberate yourself from what others think of you

Here are three thoughts that can help you on this journey:

1. Positive Self-Talk – Your self-talk is a reflection of who you want to become. That’s why, if you speak positively to yourself, you become a positive person, and vice-versa. How can you stop caring about what others think when you bring yourself down? Be nice to yourself!
2. Set Boundaries – This will give you clear limits to determine what you will or won’t participate in. In a previous post, I write about owning your calendar, which is a great way to set boundaries.
3. No Talking About Others Unless You are Thanking or Praising Them – A clear sign of small-minded individuals is talking about other people behind their backs. The only time you should talk about other people is to show gratitude and to praise them. Other than that, focus on talking about ideas and problems you want to contribute to solving.

It can be scary. But being truly yourself, talking about the things you want to talk about, doing what you want to do, and letting others decide for themselves if they’re going to partake significantly improves your life quality. Just as important, you will attract the right people to your life.  

Don’t forget that while there are many people out there, you don’t need them all on your side – just the right ones.

All the best,

Jorge